Turkey Day is almost upon us. This year I shall do my part to make the Holidays totally rad for all. This year, I pledge not to: |
| -consume an entire 23 lb. turkey by myself |
| -collect a $7 cover charge at the door |
| -keep asking if we can watch something other than football |
| -mention a single, solitary time how much Katie Couric bugs me if she hosts the Thanksgiving Day Parade for CBS |
| -hold Doug hostage |
| -teach the young ones about the circle of life by killing the turkey with my bare hands before their terrified eyes |
| -let Mel serve dinner |
| -force Jamie to dress as a turkey |
| -insist we pray for the success and safety of the Justice League of America as they protect our shores and skies from the Legion of Doom |
| -stay sober through dinner |
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